My oldest son is Zachary, I have described him at one time as my lifesaver, because without him coming along 17 almost 18 years ago, I really don't know where or how messed up my life would be right now. I was a teen mom I had him exactly one month after I myself turned 18, I was doing what I wanted when I wanted and had no desire to do anything but that until he came along. I was in a bad relationship and Zach and I stayed for two years, and I decided for my son and my sanity we had to go. So off we go to start our lives.
Fast forward about 4 years and that will put Zach at about 6 years old, my new husband and I have enrolled him in school and they have a flag football program, my son wants to play,and of course my husband being the former football player jumps at seeing him learn to play the great sport, little did I know that this would be the beginning of a large part of all of our lives for years to come. I would like to say that my son not only unknowingly saved me from myself, but when he wants to do something he does it right. Fast forward a few more years and we are in 8th grade ball, Zach not only played offense and defense he also was an honors athlete maintaining a B average while giving his all on the football field. Freshman year comes along and that puts us in Atlanta, and a whole new school and environment, the coaches at first blew him off at just a glance, little did they know that "white boy" from the midwest had his mind set on a position and he showed everyone what he was made of, it turns out not only did my son start he became team captain, and he was the first Freshman in 10 years to play Varsity. He never gave up and proved his worth so never judge a book by its cover. Here we are Junior year of high school, and that dedication to football has never let up, Zach leads his team in tackles and QB sacks, college scouts are after my son, and this year he has a shot at the state championship. My heart aches through every game, to see my son give his all and never settles. I see my son moving on to play college ball, and possibly go even further. He being the fighter that he is with many things at times in his life stacked against him, gives me the drive I need to push forward in my education. In a few weeks I will see my son the State Champ I know it in my heart and when I see his hard work pay off I will cry the same tears of joy as the first day I laid my eyes on him, except it is seeing through him a small part of his dream come true and that is be a champ, but to me he will always be my champ. I love you son!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
My Southern Hel%
Two years ago my family and I moved to Georgia,we left my family and friends, my home, and my job that I so truly loved, we moved to accommodate my husband's work load in Atlanta. Well, one would think that moving for work and leaving your family is sad, but happy all in one because it was supposed to be the answer to our struggling tile and marble business in St. Louis, the totally opposite thing happened those promised construction jobs, fell through and got pulled. So now here I sit in my own personal hell, the south. You hear about southern hospitality, well I am hear to tell you that is the biggest myth of all time as it does not exist. I have never met more hateful, spiteful, passive aggressive people in my whole life. Don't bother leaving a voice mail for someone, they will not call you back, and the super Christian oh my gosh they are in mass abundance here, you know what I'm talking about the person who will quote every verse from the bible, but the one they so often forget is the "judge not lest you be judged yourself". The public school system is one of the worst in the country, so I home school my children, and they are missing out on the fun stuff elementary school has to offer, well its home school or them be left behind because the focus is on the children that cannot speak English ,
Well, I am happy to say that after the holidays my Mid -Western rear is moving back were it belongs, the Mid -West, not St. Louis but back to Milwaukee where my family started, where I first felt my independence and grew as a person. Good bye to the scorching heat, and hello to the snow. I will be attending an actual nursing school there, and my husband has many job opportunities as do I. I will take these last 2 years as a learning experience, they have made me stronger,and more determined. I cannot wait to brush this red Georgia clay off my shoes and be happy again.
Well, I am happy to say that after the holidays my Mid -Western rear is moving back were it belongs, the Mid -West, not St. Louis but back to Milwaukee where my family started, where I first felt my independence and grew as a person. Good bye to the scorching heat, and hello to the snow. I will be attending an actual nursing school there, and my husband has many job opportunities as do I. I will take these last 2 years as a learning experience, they have made me stronger,and more determined. I cannot wait to brush this red Georgia clay off my shoes and be happy again.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
One long week
Since this is my first true blog other than the test one I am going to write about the week I just had, and hopefully for a few of you get you to change your habits just a bit.
Well as usual my week starts on Monday, just like everyone else, I would like to go on the record saying I truly hate Monday's and it seems like last Monday would solidify my true dislike for them, so onto my hell week.
It seems to be a normal day I wake up start coffee, wake the kids up, get breakfast ready, get them dressed, and start their homeschool day, all normal. Later on I call my mom, and I find out she is going to the doctor that day, oh yes everyone this is where it starts to get good, so I ask her why she has to go to the doctor and she says well, since her surgery on her legs for her varicose vein issue she has had problems breathing, of course the first thing I do is ask for how long and she replies for about a week or more, I tell her to never wait that long it could be a clot, we all know that most pulmonary embolisms start in the veins of the legs, and having had surgery I am freaking. Now, keep in mind I cannot go with my mom she lives about 550 miles away so I make her promise to call me after she speaks with the doc. Time goes by no call, as I sit at my oldest son's football practice I call her. She informs me that she has to get x-rays, ct scans, and blood work the next day,now on top of my mom having just had surgery, she also in a short amount of time has lost 20 pounds and she has not tried to or changed anything about her lifestyle, what I have failed to mention so far is she is a smoker and has been since she has been 15, and is now 54. What I find out from her is she is being tested for lung cancer, and the doctor is leaning towards this diagnoses, she has been keeping her ill health from me for quite sometime. I automatically freak, and think of all the what ifs, and I start to pray, I pray that there is no cancer, and I pray that if he has to teach her a lesson please let in be COPD, and not the big C. I knew the next 24-48 hours would be hell on everyone that loves her. I started to think about curling up in the bend of her legs as a little girl, and all the laughs we had as I got older, and I started wondering how I was going to watch my mom die all because of cigarettes and her inability to quit all this time. I found myself feeling as if I was being cheated out of having my mom in my life, and how my children would never truly know how great of a person my mom really is. I was finding myself mad at my mom for putting me through this worry, and I felt bad for being mad at her. So Tuesday comes around after a night of no sleep, tears, and puffy eyes, I call my mom and she is getting ready to go to get the tests done, and I just kept telling her I loved her,and it was all going to work out. Mom gets the tests done the doctor puts a stat order on them, and what happens he is not in the office that day, so its another long waiting game, and the only thing they are able to say is no blood clot in her lung, another day of worry, another night of no sleep, and here comes Wednesday, I know this is the big day, I find out if she is going to live or if she was going to die a horrible painful death. My phone rings at 9:30 am and it is my mom, the doctor read her scans and no cancer, I thought I would smile, I cried, I cried tears of relief and it took awhile to sink in because even though it was only a couple days of worry every thought goes through your mind, and not one good.
My mom is now being treated for COPD, she is going to get better with time, she has quit smoking and I am so proud, I really think it was a wake-up call for her, and for that she is blessed and so are we. Now, here goes my little speech on smoking. I smoked off and on for a few years, and I quit over 2 I know how hard it is to quit, but no one said life if easy. I wanted to live and be healthy for my kids, and myself. If you are a smoker please know what I just described my mom going through will happen to you, and if you have people that love you, how I described how I felt, they your loved ones will feel. If you don't love yourself enough to quit, do it for them, don't let them feel those awful feelings, but if you are taking the steps to go to school to better yourself, that tells me you do care.
My week ended on a positive note though, my oldest son's team is number one in the region, and he has a good chance of obtaining a high school football championship, how wonderful is that to put on his college application?
Well as usual my week starts on Monday, just like everyone else, I would like to go on the record saying I truly hate Monday's and it seems like last Monday would solidify my true dislike for them, so onto my hell week.
It seems to be a normal day I wake up start coffee, wake the kids up, get breakfast ready, get them dressed, and start their homeschool day, all normal. Later on I call my mom, and I find out she is going to the doctor that day, oh yes everyone this is where it starts to get good, so I ask her why she has to go to the doctor and she says well, since her surgery on her legs for her varicose vein issue she has had problems breathing, of course the first thing I do is ask for how long and she replies for about a week or more, I tell her to never wait that long it could be a clot, we all know that most pulmonary embolisms start in the veins of the legs, and having had surgery I am freaking. Now, keep in mind I cannot go with my mom she lives about 550 miles away so I make her promise to call me after she speaks with the doc. Time goes by no call, as I sit at my oldest son's football practice I call her. She informs me that she has to get x-rays, ct scans, and blood work the next day,now on top of my mom having just had surgery, she also in a short amount of time has lost 20 pounds and she has not tried to or changed anything about her lifestyle, what I have failed to mention so far is she is a smoker and has been since she has been 15, and is now 54. What I find out from her is she is being tested for lung cancer, and the doctor is leaning towards this diagnoses, she has been keeping her ill health from me for quite sometime. I automatically freak, and think of all the what ifs, and I start to pray, I pray that there is no cancer, and I pray that if he has to teach her a lesson please let in be COPD, and not the big C. I knew the next 24-48 hours would be hell on everyone that loves her. I started to think about curling up in the bend of her legs as a little girl, and all the laughs we had as I got older, and I started wondering how I was going to watch my mom die all because of cigarettes and her inability to quit all this time. I found myself feeling as if I was being cheated out of having my mom in my life, and how my children would never truly know how great of a person my mom really is. I was finding myself mad at my mom for putting me through this worry, and I felt bad for being mad at her. So Tuesday comes around after a night of no sleep, tears, and puffy eyes, I call my mom and she is getting ready to go to get the tests done, and I just kept telling her I loved her,and it was all going to work out. Mom gets the tests done the doctor puts a stat order on them, and what happens he is not in the office that day, so its another long waiting game, and the only thing they are able to say is no blood clot in her lung, another day of worry, another night of no sleep, and here comes Wednesday, I know this is the big day, I find out if she is going to live or if she was going to die a horrible painful death. My phone rings at 9:30 am and it is my mom, the doctor read her scans and no cancer, I thought I would smile, I cried, I cried tears of relief and it took awhile to sink in because even though it was only a couple days of worry every thought goes through your mind, and not one good.
My mom is now being treated for COPD, she is going to get better with time, she has quit smoking and I am so proud, I really think it was a wake-up call for her, and for that she is blessed and so are we. Now, here goes my little speech on smoking. I smoked off and on for a few years, and I quit over 2 I know how hard it is to quit, but no one said life if easy. I wanted to live and be healthy for my kids, and myself. If you are a smoker please know what I just described my mom going through will happen to you, and if you have people that love you, how I described how I felt, they your loved ones will feel. If you don't love yourself enough to quit, do it for them, don't let them feel those awful feelings, but if you are taking the steps to go to school to better yourself, that tells me you do care.
My week ended on a positive note though, my oldest son's team is number one in the region, and he has a good chance of obtaining a high school football championship, how wonderful is that to put on his college application?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)