Surprise

I really would like to say I am happy I started this blog, it has been a wonderful outlet for me and I will continue to post in it weekly, even if I will be the only one reading it .

Since last week quite a few things have happened, one my son went to the state championship, and they lost by a small margin. I watched my son give his all and come up short not from his lack of trying but failure for teammates to give the same 100% as he does. I wish I could have fixed that boo boo but I was not able to, but in my book my son will always be a champion no mater what. As I had mentioned last week I had a job opportunity in Missouri and my husband was very much against it, after talking and cohorcing him I am now in Missouri.

I have mentioned in the past how I have children and have been married for 12 years, in that 12 years there have been times when my husband has had to be away from us for periods of time for work, but never have I left because of a job. I am at my mothers house right now and I am lost without my family. When you are young your mom, siblings, grandparents, etc are your world, and you just cannot imagine life without them around all the time, they are your safe zone, your shelter when times are tough, I just don't see that as the case in my life now, my safe zone is with my husband and children, and I feel so vulnerable and lost without them. I am a big girl, I can do this, but I never realized how secure and safe I felt with my husband and kids until now. There are the little things that you take for granted when you are without your spouse, I am used to in the middle of the night curling up when I'm cold, for the past few nights I have froze, not from real cold,but lack of that constant right beside me. I miss the MOM!!! I need toilet paper from the bathroom, it is the small things that mean so much, and that is why I know I have to trudge through and do what I am doing right now to ensure we will all be ok.